Being a parent is not easy, yes, Mother. In caring for the Little One so that it can grow and develop optimally, it is not only the nutrition needed, but the role of the father and mother in full.
Especially for fathers, please note that there are many benefits if you can build bonding (relationship or bond) is strong with the child. Starting from the way of thinking to managing emotions well.
“There are so many benefits. From recent research, a father also feels extraordinary happiness like Mother when he had a new baby, because the hormone oxytocin develops a lot. So, fathers will think that they are heroes for their children,” said child and family psychologist Samanta Elsener, M. PSi, in Hi Mother Live in Instagram @ipadguidescomon Tuesday (16/11/2021).
“That way, fathers will teach children to be brave, about leadership, teach children to manage their emotions rationally. So, it can balance out the role of a mother.”
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Building bonds with children is also not a matter of always being there, Mother. It’s about emotional connection. Due to the fact, it is also important for fathers to understand their children in depth.
“Bonding with children is not only a matter of accompany he plays. In my opinion, a father, from A to Z, knows what his children’s needs are, what their daily activities are like, hobbies or emotions when they are not comfortable,” said Esha Mahendra, a father who works as a content creator and writer.
The father of one child admits, he has been doing this bonding for the last few years. Even to fulfill this, this former office employee decided to become stay at home dad and work from home in order to get the most out of her children.
On the same occasion, Samanta also explained, there are several signs that the father and son already have bonding the strong one. This can be seen when the two have to separate or when they meet again.
“The sign of a child having a secure, safe and comfortable relationship with his father is when his father is gone, the child feels lost. They think, ‘Well, my hero isn’t home anymore,'” she said.
“The second characteristic, when the father is at home (re-meets). The child is happy and very happy right away invite play. It’s just a complete package.”
The bad impact of children being raised without the role of a father
The role of the father in the development of this child is very important, you know, Mother. If this is not met, there will be an unexpected negative impact. Anything?
1. Cognitive does not develop optimally
Samanta reminded that the role of fathers is directly related to the cognitive development of children. Especially when children are under five years old, this will determine their future.
“From the research results, there are many. For example cognitive abilities. Children under the age of 5 years are better off if their fathers play a role in parenting,” he said.
This father’s role can actually help the development of children’s knowledge to the maximum. Samanta added, “Fathers need to be involved in providing stimulation. If not, the brains of children aged 5 years and under will develop up to 95 percent, so it can’t be achieved.”
“So, his development is not optimal if his father does not play an active role.”
2. Lack of confidence
Without the role of a father, children can feel inferior or lack self-confidence, Mother. “Children are not confident. So they are reluctant to show their abilities, skills, skills, so maybe their friends will be confused about how to (to make friends),” said Samanta.
This is also related to interactions with the opposite sex, Mother. Especially in boys, they will be confused because they feel that there is no one to direct them.
“If it’s a boy, if you want to approach a girl, you will be hesitant because there is no one to direct you,” he said.
“About his sexual development, he became confused, what changes in men? Unless they have siblings, so they can see. If not, you don’t know and who will accompany you. answered by the father figure.”
 Illustration of father and son |
3. Daddy issues
For you to know, Daddy Issues is a psychological effect because they have a less harmonious relationship with their father or figure. This generally occurs in girls.
“Then if it’s a girl, we usually call it Daddy Issue. So he has issues (problem) when dealing with men. Her relationship often fights, because she doesn’t know how to interact with men,” said Samanta.
“He’s confused, what does the man think? Because of his own tendency to think egotically (only women), he always thinks he’s right.”
4. Performance decreased
This is still related to cognitive development in children, yes, Mother. When a child does not have a father figure, especially when studying, the chances of the child to excel will decrease.
“Then learning achievement. Children who are close and can study with their father, in research (children) are more likely to have high achievements,” he said.
This is certainly a matter of thought, especially for Mothers who single mom. According to Samanta, the problem of the father’s role in the child in this condition can still be fulfilled, really. It depends on how you put yourself in the situation.
Samanta reminded, single mom must get up and not feel down or inferior with the development of the child later. The important thing is that the mindset and belief in yourself must grow first.
“If, for example, Mother feels sad all the time, the child will also be mentally disturbed. But if single mom feel empowered, can still continue to live optimally in the sense that there is still a support system, still working, still able to take care of children, can change roles to become a father figure even though it’s hard, then the children will see,” Samanta explained.
In addition, you can also take advantage of the support system around you. For example, with a brother or sister who becomes an uncle to the Little One. They certainly can be a substitute and provide a ‘father’ figure.
“Then, when we have a good support system, for example having a family who is an uncle to a child, it can be a father figure for him,” said Samanta.
Mother, also see 7 parenting tips for educating alpha generation children, in the following video:
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